It’s a conversation, courtesy of your website (and her friends)

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My clients know I often talk about websites like they’re people. To me, they have a personality, a job, a goal, and a life story. If they were interns or employees, their job descriptions would be very clear. They also embody a sort of living conversation with people who come to visit them. Let me give you an example.

I recently stopped by a new bookstore in my town. I was curious about what they offered (being only the second book retailer here in this small place).

Unusually for me, I wasn’t looking for anything specific at the time. I knew vaguely that I’d like something business-related, because I was in a bit of an “Inspiration Funk” and thought some fresh reading might help shake loose some original thought.

Here’s how the conversation with the proprietors went:

(Me) “Hi guys. Welcome to the neighborhood. We love having a new bookstore within walking distance!” (handshake)

(Owner) “So glad you stopped by. We’ve got some fresh coffee brewing in the corner by those big armchairs. Make yourself at home. Can I help you find what you’re looking for?”

“I’m not looking for anything in particular, but do you have a business book section?”

“Absolutely – come right over here. What do you do? What sort of thing interests you?”

“I’d just like to browse what you’ve got for some new ideas. I have my own business too, and lately I’ve been looking for creative ways to freshen it up.”

“Excellent. I love talking to other self-employed folks. You know what? We just got in this new book about marketing that sounded really different from all the rest of them…let me find it for you.”

“Awesome. Thanks.”

I sipped coffee while browsing, and painlessly bought my new book using their handy iPad checkout. At their suggestion, I joined their mailing list, and decided to go home and “Follow” the store on Facebook to stay aware of their sales and community events like readings and workshops.

Pretty standard retail stuff, right?

But let’s tease apart that whole story. Here’s how the conversation flows, from their point of view:

1) Well, hi there. I’m glad you’re here. Make yourself comfortable.
2) What’s your story? Let’s talk about why you’ve come, even if you’re not entirely sure yourself.
3) Ahhh, I see. I think I may have something helpful. Let me show you.
4) Here’s how to get what you’ve decided on; we’ve made it easy.
5) You know, we should keep in touch, if you don’t mind. Here’s how.

A good website—one that’s human and helpful—says and does all of this too:

  • With your home page, you set the tone, with words and with imagery, so people feel an immediate sense of having arrived at a comfortable and helpful place.
  • That page also makes a connection with the reader right away by beginning a conversation with them: What’s going on with you right now? What did you come here to look for? How can I help? It’s not always clear who they are. Sometimes, since you have a specific audience in mind but don’t know for certain s/he’s the one reading, you have to make assumptions: “So many people are struggling with (X) right now – as many as a million people nationwide…”
  • Only then do you describe your main offerings in detail (products, services, help, wisdom). The bookstore dude didn’t meet me at the door waving a copy of Atlas Shrugged, trying to convince me I needed to re-read it right now. He asked questions. Listened. Suggested.
  • Provide super-streamlined ways to purchase the thing(s) I’ve now decided I most need. Note the shop owner didn’t walk me around and block my way by trying to sell me an Ironman DVD, a bookmark, and a copy of Where the Wild Things Are (fun fact: I already have two copies). You can have them displayed in your offerings; but pop it up in my face as an impulse buy or a upsell, and you’ve become “that guy.”
  • Whether they purchase or not, offer visitors ways to continue the conversation. This can be through the site, through an email signup , or through social media.

What you can do next:

Take a look at your own home page and website.

What’s the conversation that’s taking place, even if it might currently be one-sided? What’s missing?

As usual, you can always contact me for inspiration and help. Have a great week!

 

 

Thanks for stopping by!

If you have a heart-based business and this message resonated with you, I’d love to have you keep in touch (in times like these, having a community of people who ‘get’ us can make all the difference between a great day and “I’m just going back to bed”). Here are some ways:

  • I send out a monthly email missive with stuff of interest to people like us – from non-geeky tech tips, to new resources for small businesses and freelancers, to feelgood stories of what’s working out there. Give it a try and see if it’s of interest to you.
  • I’m on Facebook at https://facebook.com/websitesforgood and we have some great conversations there. It’s also a great place to see new writings of all kinds.
  • Think about a free 30-minute consultation with me to tell me what you’re up to, talk through new ideas or directions for your work, or talk about how to better tell your story online.

 

I am not just a prospect: Keeping it personal with our small businesses

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A couple of weeks ago, I signed up for a free phone chat with a well-known coach. I had cleared that slot on my calendar, prepared my questions, and, because I hadn’t been given any details on how to reach him, I clarified via several emails that I was to phone him, and was given the number to call. At T-minus five minutes, I’d even treated myself by pressing a fresh, hot cup of coffee and pulling out a new yellow legal pad.

At the appointed time I phoned, and listened to it ring. And ring. And ring. I sent an inquiring email. I drank my coffee and doodled clouds all over my yellow pad in blue Sharpie.

30 minutes past our time, he phoned me from another number, with coffee shop noise in the background, to tell my voicemail that he was running late, and suggested I try again in a few minutes.

That little phone event would have been incredibly annoying to me if I didn’t have a frame of reference. In the automated followup email sequence, for several days I received a series of pitches for products and ‘opportunities that wouldn’t be offered again.’ I knew exactly the part I was playing in his story. I was in his “sales funnel,” and I was a prospect, not a person.

Yesterday morning, I was watching a social media webinar. Over the course of its 45 minutes I counted the term “user” spoken dozens and dozens of times by the discussion panel members. The word “person”? Not once.

Several years ago, when I’d had to undergo surgery, I awoke in that awful post-anesthesia brain-soup. Nurses and aides of were murmuring to each other. I realized that I was in motion, being wheeled into Recovery on a gurney.

From above my head, I heard the gurney-pushing aide call across the room, “Where do you want this?”

I craned my neck back to look up at her, and rasped as clearly as I could manage, “I’m not a this, thanks.”

It makes me smile to note that the people reading this newsletter are more likely to shy away from the impersonal and the indifferent. Marketing gurus use language like “cold prospect” and “conversion” and “tripwire,” and advocate for an “ethical bribe” (freebie) in exchange for subscribing to a newsletter. Did you know you, as a consumer, have a Customer Lifetime Value (CLV), i.e. a dollar amount you’re “worth” to a business? (Oh, do have fun with this marketing jargon generator. I know I did.)

Yes, you might say I’m touchy about the subject. But there actually IS a bigger point to all my crankiness: We can be better than that.

I am not just a prospect.
I am not just a “user.”
I am not just a “this.”

Neither are you. And neither are the members of your audience.

In our smaller, more soulful businesses, we have the power to be genuine and compassionate with “our people.”

We can give them all the details they need about working with us, without forcing them to chase us down.

We can treat their time as honorably as we treat our own—or better, if you aren’t good at that.

We can speak to them in our marketing materials the way we’d speak to them if they were standing in front of us.

We can show respect and regard to individuals AS individuals. We can listen to their unique needs and stories, rather than trying to make them fit some universal formula.

We can be trustworthy in a world that’s craving someone to trust.

We can be authentic in our work.

Let’s.
Okay?

 

 

Thanks for stopping by!

If you have a heart-based business and this message resonated with you, I’d love to have you keep in touch (in times like these, having a community of people who ‘get’ us can make all the difference between a great day and “I’m just going back to bed”). Here are some ways:

  • I send out a monthly email missive with stuff of interest to people like us – from non-geeky tech tips, to new resources for small businesses and freelancers, to feelgood stories of what’s working out there. Give it a try and see if it’s of interest to you.
  • I’m on Facebook at https://facebook.com/websitesforgood and we have some great conversations there. It’s also a great place to see new writings of all kinds.
  • Think about a free 30-minute consultation with me to tell me what you’re up to, talk through new ideas or directions for your work, or talk about how to better tell your story online.

The Story Hour: The surprising joys of creating an oasis of time for your ‘why’

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Some of you know that I’ve been working on a book this Fall about storytelling for small, conscious businesses like ours (tentative title: Storytelling for Small Business: Growing Your Business Authentically Through the Power of Story). Having put so much emphasis on story for years with my clients, the act of gathering and sharing a useful body of information about it seemed a natural and pleasing next step. It’s also been an eye-opening experience, in more ways than one.

Two important new habits have emerged from the process of writing this book (and I DO so love a new good habit, almost as much as I love shedding an old bad one).

  1. Gently coercing myself into making time for creativity. I’ve been rousing myself early in order to create more time for creative work. Creating—whether it’s pondering my mission, writing for my own online outreach, brainstorming new ideas—has always been the redheaded stepchild of my work day. You know, the things that you’ll do, but “maybe later when I have time.”I’ve never been very good at early rising, especially as the sun rises later and later, so I had to train myself gradually. I haven’t used an alarm of any sort for many years, but I set my mobile phone to gently ping me at earlier and earlier increments: 6:45, then 6:40, then 6:35…and so on.It was very hard at first, so I reward the soft animal of my body for getting out of bed at my new set point, 5:30am (gosh, even writing that is hard).

    I lavish gifts on it like a good curl-up in my most comfortable chair with nice light, a silky soft blanket, a hot and delicious caffeinated beverage next to me, and time and space for something I loved doing: Writing, reading, sketching, or just listening to guided meditations or creativity podcasts.

  2. Reconnecting with my own story, and the stories of the people in my world (like you). Because I’m always immersed in different stories during this time, I’ve come to call that time of day my Story Hour.I re-tether myself to my own story, the “how” and the “why” I came to this work.I gather all of you around me (in the form of reading your current writing on your websites, newsletters, social media, etc.) and reconnect with YOUR stories. I see who you’re trying to help, what you’re offering, what’s happening in your world.I write something new every day to share with you all, be it a blog post, the beginnings of an article, something on social media, etc. That reconnects my story with yours, and plugs me into the larger world of what I’m here to do. It’s the energetic equivalent of plugging myself into a soul charger and refilling my batteries ’til they blink green again.

It’s no wonder I don’t need the alarm any more—our bodies do work on the reward system, after all. So, to recap: Comfy chair and lighting, steamy hot cafe au lait, warm wooby, quiet time to create something new, and the joyfully energizing act of spending time on my bigger vision as I stay connected with people and causes that matter.

Can’t think your way out of a paper bag early in the morning? Not a problem. The time of day isn’t as important as creating a habit that’s compelling to you.  If you’re more of a night person and find yourself shuddering at the thought of all this, know that the same routine can apply for your preferred daypart, though I’d skip the caffeine part at midnight if you have trouble sleeping. If you do your best creative thinking at mid-day, find a way to set aside a piece of that time for this ritual, no matter what it takes.

The idea is to carve out a new niche of time and make it non-negotiable, sacrosanct, and intensely habit-forming. The rewards are immense.

Do you have a ritual or habit that keeps you connected with your big Why? I’d love to hear about it if you do.

 

 

Thanks for stopping by!

If you have a heart-based business and this message resonated with you, I’d love to have you keep in touch (in times like these, having a community of people who ‘get’ us can make all the difference between a great day and “I’m just going back to bed”). Here are some ways:

  • I send out a monthly email missive with stuff of interest to people like us – from non-geeky tech tips, to new resources for small businesses and freelancers, to feelgood stories of what’s working out there. Give it a try and see if it’s of interest to you.
  • I’m on Facebook at https://facebook.com/websitesforgood and we have some great conversations there. It’s also a great place to see new writings of all kinds.
  • Think about a free 30-minute consultation with me to tell me what you’re up to, talk through new ideas or directions for your work, or talk about how to better tell your story online.

Why I keep doing this even when the world seems so dark

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Another day in America, and another mass shooting. Collectively we recoil once again from the news, the suffering, the fear. We again look over our shoulders into the faces of strangers. We wonder again about the wisdom of going to that concert or that big public gathering next week. We argue. We propose tidy solutions. We pray. And in our worst moments, we sit in despair and wonder how—and why—we keep putting one foot in front of the other, if things are just going to end up like this.

I had one of those days yesterday, as the weight of it pressed down on me. Why bother? I can’t solve this. Even good laws can’t keep this from happening. If humans are choosing to solve their pain by causing pain to others, why am I bothering to devote my life to serving them?

It was a long, long day.

For a word geek like me, there’s a special little thrill that comes with learning a new-to-me word which seems to capture something heretofore uncapturable. This week’s word was “brutiful.”

It’s a word originally coined – I think – by author and speaker Glennon Doyle:

“Life is brutal. But it’s also beautiful. Brutiful, I call it. Life’s brutal and beautiful are woven together so tightly that they can’t be separated. Reject the brutal, (you) reject the beauty.”
(Meet Glennon, momastery.com)

I think approximately two gazillion people learned this word before I did, but that doesn’t take away from my delight at finding it. What better way to describe today’s world? What better amulet to wear into battle as a member of the Love Army?

By any yardstick, what’s happening in the world right now is brutal. Just plain brutal. Not just in terms of violence and mayhem, but also in terms of things like what types of people are being idolized, what kinds of lies are being ignored, and how we’re being controlled and dehumanized by different forces.

What’s happening in RESPONSE to this, however, is breathtakingly beautiful. People who’ve never spoken out against injustice are marching, shouting, writing. People who don’t consider themselves the least bit courageous are putting their bodies on the line to protect people who are suffering. People who have never volunteered in their lives are out in the community, boots on the ground, showing their love and support to those who need it most.

It’s…beautiful.

And it’s a beauty we may never have seen, if not for the brutal turn the world seems to be taking in response to its fears.

There’s no guarantee that the beauty will “win,” whatever that means. For me, that’s really not the point. What matters is that the minds, hearts, hands, and feet of good people everywhere are all pointing in the same direction…toward compassion, toward connection, toward creative solutions.

It’s happening in our personal lives and also in our businesses. On any given day, I am in contact with a dozen people whose work in the world is designed with the specific purpose of making something better. Small businesses, I’ve said, are going to save the world.

We have to have a plan to deal with tragedy, however, because it isn’t going to go away any time soon, and we can’t afford to be immobilized by it. Everyone has his/her own way, but mine roughly follows this timeline:

Learn the facts, then step away. I resist the temptation to learn every detail, or to compulsively watch the news updates.

Grieve. I don’t stuff it down or deep-dive into distractions. We are human beings, and we have a basic goodness within us. I don’t deny myself the time to feel the sadness I feel. But then…

Find out how to help, and do one thing to contribute to the healing process. This page, for example, lists some ways to help the people of Sutherland Springs, where the latest mass shooting took place. I donated to the fund to help the church, and also wrote a letter to the church expressing my love and support (First Baptist Church, 216 4th St, Sutherland Springs, TX 78161)

Turn your gaze back to your own life, and pump up your own efforts to do good in the world. It won’t stop all people from choosing ugly acts, but it will push back against it with the power of good.

Even if things continue to go hell sans handbasket, it’s the love and the trying and the courage that will be with me when I leave this earth, rather than the fear and the cowardice that I might’ve let keep me in fear and denial.

I will not turn my eyes from the brutal. But I will throw in my lot—and my work in the world—with those who are fighting back with love, in a million beautiful ways.

 

 

Thanks for stopping by!

If you have a heart-based business and this message resonated with you, I’d love to have you keep in touch (in times like these, having a community of people who ‘get’ us can make all the difference between a great day and “I’m just going back to bed”). Here are some ways:

  • I send out a monthly email missive with stuff of interest to people like us – from non-geeky tech tips, to new resources for small businesses and freelancers, to feelgood stories of what’s working out there. Give it a try and see if it’s of interest to you.
  • I’m on Facebook at https://facebook.com/websitesforgood and we have some great conversations there. It’s also a great place to see new writings of all kinds.
  • Think about a free 30-minute consultation with me to tell me what you’re up to, talk through new ideas or directions for your work, or talk about how to better tell your story online.

How I use Facebook to stay happy, calm, and productive in my small business

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I still have many clients who avoid Facebook, even though they know it may have many benefits for their work and their business. They have an impression of it as a squawking coop full of unfettered narcissists, over-sharers, and attention seekers. The land of the angry, the bigoted, and That Guy Who Loves the Sound of His Own Voice.

I’m not here to argue any of that. But since there are some very strong business reasons to use Facebook, and because I’ve managed to make it into a place that actually helps me to stay happy, productive, and connected, I wanted to share how I do it.

In order to have a Facebook business page, you need to have a primary/personal page first. That, more than anything, is the place where things can go off the rails and get very problematic. Consider this post to be a guide to managing that part of things so you can enjoy and benefit from your business presence.

Set it up right to begin with, for maximum security and quiet

So many people jump into the potential bedlam of Facebook and don’t bother changing its default settings. So their world is a pandemonium of “friend” requests, private messages pinging day and night, and other people posting on their own personal space. There are also privacy issues, with all the annoyance and even danger of people sharing what you’ve put up there.

Facebook itself has tools to help you through all the settings you can tweak to control who shows up, who can see your stuff, who can contact you etc. Time magazine also published a useful guide to this last year: http://time.com/4166749/facebook-privacy-settings-guide/

One of the most critical ones for me is not permitting anyone but my closest friends/family to private message me, by the way.

Filter out what makes you crazy with FB Purity

I honestly don’t know what I’d do without FB Purity. It’s a little extension (software thing) that you can install, which then automatically filters out a huge percentage of what makes me insane about Facebook. You get it going, and it does the rest.

Don’t want to see the word “Trump” (pro or con) in your news feed any more? Set it up in a filter and all the rants are gone.

Hate that “Trending” thing in the right column that tempts you down the rabbit hole of mindless clicking? Gone.

Bothered by those oh-so-helpful interjections by Facebook guessing at things I’ll like, memories from ten years ago, games, even some ads? Gone.

A list of all that FB Purity does is here: http://fbpurity.com

I encourage you in no uncertain terms to use this, starting now.

Be ruthless about decluttering your so-called “friends”

I know some people who are collectors of “friends” on Facebook. As a result, they are bombarded day and night with the collective sharing by near-strangers of hundreds of baby pictures, funny dog stories, pithy quotes, gripes about jobs or life in general, off-color jokes, stream-of-consciousness questions, sports teams, and worse.

In what way is this a useful way to spend our life’s minutes?

For those who are considering joining Facebook, and those who are already in the soup, I want to ask you to be ruthless in paring down that number to 150 or (preferably) less. The anthropologist Robin Dunbar, who studies social networks, said that any grouping of people larger than 150 starts to strain the capacity of the human brain. We can’t effectively manage relationships with many hundreds of people—real or digital—and it creates cognitive stress that we may not even be aware of. Hands up: Who out there needs more cognitive stress in this era? Anybody? I didn’t think so.

The idea of being able to keep tabs on endless schoolmates, childhood friends, real-life acquaintances, old next-door neighbors may have sounded nice to begin with. Facebook “sold” the product to us and gave us the tools to build, build, build, convincing us that the more people we “friend,” the better.  But it’s just not helping, and in fact it’s hurting.

Go to your “Friends” list. Scroll down the list. Hide or (preferably) unfriend: The negative, the loudmouths, the insulting, the ones you have to tiptoe around, the ones you haven’t spoken to in years and don’t miss them. Get rid of the ones who frequently have meltdowns, the people you didn’t care to hang out with in school anyway, the ones that – if they showed up in your neighborhood – you WOULDN’T want to go have a cup of coffee with. Be cold. This is your peace of mind and your focus at stake.

Get down to a list of no more than 150 people that:

  • you’ve actually met and love, or with whom you’ve consistently had meaningful and mutually beneficial one-to-one exchanges; AND
  • you know are often positive or optimistic or otherwise good for your peace of mind; AND
  • are good human beings who it makes you happy to have conversations with (those colleagues, clients, and community members who add to your life)

Root out any trace of FOMO (your fear of missing out on news of something happening to someone somewhere) and be merciless in your decluttering. Your real friends will know where to find you.

If you’re already on Facebook and receive lots of postings from news outlets, public figures, and celebrities, purge them accordingly as. You’re making space for what matters. (Get your news somewhere else, by the way…DON’T have it shoved in your face automatically every day/hour/minute. That’s a recipe for extreme agitation and stress, and the world needs you calm and clear-headed.) 

Start building or rebuilding your Facebook page as a positive space

Now that your feed is no longer cluttered with ads, games, rants, selfies, red carpet photos, etc., you can start filling your account with ONLY the positive, the beautiful, the hopeful, the educational. This will vary wildly from individual to individual, but below are some of the things I’ve loaded mine up with, giving me a solid stream of encouragement, love, and good news all day every day (search for them in the search box at the top of your page, or search for “good news”):

Good News Network
Good Good Good/Goodnewspaper
Tiny Buddha
Center for a New American Dream
Greater Good Science Center
Sweatpants and Coffee
DailyOM
Preemptive Love Coalition
The Daily Flame (Inner Pilot Light)
BBC World Hacks
Elephant Journal
The funny local sign whose puns make me groan (right)

There is literally not much room left for the negative news and inflammatory rhetoric to squeeze in, and if it does, I filter it out systematically so it can’t come back. And that’s the whole point: Craft the space to be the world you’d rather be living in: Good, generous, helpful, intelligent people all around us. Many of us actually ARE living in that world.

Become part of communities that help you, and that you can help

The best parts of Facebook are the opportunities that present themselves to be part of a community. There are thousands of groups on Facebook covering every topic from community gardening to graphic design to meditation to … surviving owning your own business!

If a group is active and has more than just a couple of people in it, it’s an absolutely fantastic way to make some new connections in the world with people who “get” you. You’ll meet kindred spirits, learn a ton of new things, have a place to share your knowledge with others, and grow as a person and as a professional.

Look in Facebook’s left column for the word Explore, then Groups. At that page, you can click the word “Discover” at the top to search for something in your areas of interest. I get an enormous amount of benefit from the groups I’m part of. If you aren’t yet part of any groups, I’d encourage you to give one a try…or start your own!

Tend a business page that helps people

There are lots of resources on the web to help set up and properly use a Facebook business page. I can only say that my page has been, for me:

  • A place to write and share things that help the people I care about most
  • A way to reach a wider audience with the things I offer the world
  • A learning experience, as people share what they want and need from me

Once the personal side of Facebook has been tamed and isn’t obtrusive any more, your business page can be a place to really dip into your zone of genius and connect with those you’re most trying to help.

Oh, and turn off all intrusive push notifications. Right now.

Make sure your mobile devices aren’t receiving notifications of every damn thing that happens on your Facebook feed. The only things I get on my mobile are the occasional private messages from friends (who are almost always real-life friends and colleagues) I’ve set to be allowed to do that. If you are addicted to the invitation to distraction, the binging and bonging of constant notifications—”They like me! They really like me!”—call that out and take steps to get it out of your life. There are far too many people who permit themselves to completely shred their limited waking hours in this way, and then wail that “there’s never enough time!” (I was one of those.) Life really is too short for that.

Do you have questions, concerns or fears around using Facebook for your business without going mad or being overwhelmed? Drop me a line and let do this sanely together. I’m far from an expert, but I have experimented with many different ways of using that particular tool, and can share what I know and what has worked.

You might also enjoy my blog post, Social Media for the Sensitive Entrepreneur, which has other helpful tips for using these tools well and wisely.

 

Thanks for stopping by!

If you have a heart-based business and this message resonated with you, I’d love to have you keep in touch (in times like these, having a community of people who ‘get’ us can make all the difference between a great day and “I’m just going back to bed”). Here are some ways:

  • I send out a monthly email missive with stuff of interest to people like us – from non-geeky tech tips, to new resources for small businesses and freelancers, to feelgood stories of what’s working out there. Give it a try and see if it’s of interest to you.
  • I’m on Facebook at https://facebook.com/websitesforgood and we have some great conversations there. It’s also a great place to see new writings of all kinds.
  • Think about a free 30-minute consultation with me to tell me what you’re up to, talk through new ideas or directions, or talk about how to better tell your story online.